In my opinion, the main problem to our falling birth rate is a big picture with many interlocking factors... Costs - Pregnancy - Baby/Childcare (Nuturing & upbringing & logistics) - Education & Schools - Living Standards - Job/career - personal lifestyle - Living standards etc
I am 29 turning 30. Mother of two boys aged 3 and 1. Stay on our own with a helper and drives a 5 yr old jap car. Most ppl think I am a young mum in today's era, but I don't really think so. I wished I had girl and will prbly try for number 3 again. Most people will say, "Wow! Salute you man..."I wished I had started earlier since I got married when I was 23 turning 24 and got together in a courtship with my hubby when I was 17 turning 18..
Mothers are still very much the main caregiver for the children as most man just can't lift a finger to initiate any significant help or at least my man. I often said being a mother is one of the toughest job on earth...though it is also one of the most fulfilling one. You are on standby every 24/7.
For people who doesn't fancy having children, they will never be able to understand the joy behind parenthood. Of course, the joy behind is often masked by the difficulties, hardship and compromises ahead. Having children is not just about getting pregnant, giving birth and that's it. In fact that really is just a mere part of it. It is about nuturing the child and enjoying the process of it. But in order to be able to enjoy the process of it...money must still be coming in to cover the household expenses and yet preferably still have some savings no matterhow little for tommorrow...
I am very lucky for now that I am able to take some time off work and not having to work full day full hours. Hence I am able to care for my kids. Thanks to my very hardworking husband. Yet I still find time is never enough...having to juggle the household from monthly bills to groceries to planning, share some of husband's workload, own work, the children and everything else. I am lucky I have a rather good maid/helper...if not I would have gone crazy. So as tough as it is, I also remind myself I am lucky still.
As much as I appreciate the childcare subsidies, the babybonus, the tax incentives given, it will never be enough. Why?
(1) childcare subsidywhen childcare subsides increases, the fees charged by the centres also increase.Also I have always wondered, why are childcare subsdies only for MCYS Childcare centres and not for MOE registered kindergartens.
(2) cash gift upfront + CDA dollar to dollar top up Cash gift upfront helps to cover some of the cost of the initial baby raising costs ie Jabs etc...CDA account = only possible to achieve if you can save in excess...And anyway, money is never enough ... so there will never be an end to this part of the solution..
(1) childcare subsidywhen childcare subsides increases, the fees charged by the centres also increase.Also I have always wondered, why are childcare subsdies only for MCYS Childcare centres and not for MOE registered kindergartens.
(2) cash gift upfront + CDA dollar to dollar top up Cash gift upfront helps to cover some of the cost of the initial baby raising costs ie Jabs etc...CDA account = only possible to achieve if you can save in excess...And anyway, money is never enough ... so there will never be an end to this part of the solution..
I have my moments of frustrations too..and I ask myself WHY WHY WHY?
Why have children...Eversince I had children, I have had to literally ...
(1) stop going for movies
(2) stop going for my fav KTV sessions
(3) stop going for holidays
(4) compromise on career moves etc
and the list can go on and on...
Why have children...Eversince I had children, I have had to literally ...
(1) stop going for movies
(2) stop going for my fav KTV sessions
(3) stop going for holidays
(4) compromise on career moves etc
and the list can go on and on...
However, those are just my moments of frustrations...At the end f the day, the children'innocent laughter, silly talk and so on more than makes my day happier...any compromise is really worthwhile. "I want MUMMY happy...."
Bottomline, having children equates a lot of personal life and lifestyle compromise. And I believe this is clearly the largest influencing factor whether to have children or not.In our modern society where materialism and wealth creation (to afford the materialistic & luxury lifestyle) is more often the emphasis of young people today.
If I don't have my 2 boys today, I probably would have toured alot more other countries and can long changed my 5 years old jap car to a nice flashy continenal car. I could take up any courses that i like and yet still have time for my fav KTV sessions without having to feel guilty having to leave my children in the care of my helper. If I am unhappy, I can no longer jut pack my bags and go off, for i I did that, what happens to my children?
Other than affordability, It is crucial whether young people these days finds it justifiable to make the compromises to their lifestyle. Just like spending $1K for children's preschool classes VS spending that 1K on branded goods or a holiday or even the latest iPAD. That's also another compromise.
Other than affordability, It is crucial whether young people these days finds it justifiable to make the compromises to their lifestyle. Just like spending $1K for children's preschool classes VS spending that 1K on branded goods or a holiday or even the latest iPAD. That's also another compromise.
In my opinion, most young people these days are too pampered and self centred to be able to make such compromises. But that's not entirely their fault too. It is how our society has grown to become over thepast years.I hve seen children driving cars to schools but parents take public transport to work. To me this is ridiculous. I see alot of young people even young teens eating out at nice fancy restaurants...i rem KFC/PIZZA HUT was a luxury to me in my earlier school days...even now still.
Everwhere u can see young people/teens donning branded goods top to toe..Not that I don't but at least I spend from what I earn and not what my parents earn. And I know I cant spnd on everything. If I want to spend on something, then I hve to save on others..but i do ot see this on today's young people. To them, Everything must be good and expensive today becos that equals quality and perhps even pride for peer pressure and societal pressure. So why would they give up so much justto have children?
Getting into primary schools is another issue. Staying within 1KM, 2KM i understand the basis of it. Why should parents of the alumni school be given priority?? Isnt it not meritocratic at all? This is just going to lead to an even worst income/class gap o our people in singapore. Children of parents who oes to top schools, goes to top schools easily...thats y many a times professionals breed within the family too..
Then to the KIASU-ISM spirit being cultivated in singapore...I fear for the future of my truely singaporean children. Wll they be able to compete in their school and work in future if I do not prepare them well enough now? What is considered preparing them well enough? Hw can they afford a home to call their own in future? They have no overseas malaysia, australia, china homes etc to go back to...
I have nothng against PRs. My MUM is a malaysian PR and now getting citizenship in SG.But why should PRs enjoy many similar or even near similar benefits of CITIZEN Singaporeans?At the end of the day, they can enjoy eveything here but go back to their own country when living standards here becomes too high for them...but where can SG citizens go unless we leave our famil and roots here and migrate. Yes, maybe when they truly want to be a part of the fantastic place to be in (tiny singapore) in their opinion and takeup citizenship in SG, then they shoulenjoy similar benefits be it housing, medical, CPF, subsidies, tax rebates etc.
It is sad to see the reality that Singaporeans do not want to have children...but when you lookback, why is this the result today? Having children should not even have been the responsibility by forms of incentives and monetary means and directions by the govt...but some policies and directions to grow our country by the govt in other overlapping areas is clearly a key to te resulting culture and mentality of fellow singaporeans.
So any solutions? I think it is a tough nut to crack by now with the way our society had evolved...How to get people to trade off a big part of their lifestyle luxury and time to have children and build a truely singaporean family?
